Don’t Light Up

I grew up in the 60s, when cigarette ads were everywhere—The Marlboro Man, Lucky Strike, Virginia Slims—selling smoking as something to aspire to while we watched Gilligan’s Island, Gunsmoke, and Leave It to Beaver.

You don’t see that anymore. Parents pushed back. They didn’t want their kids sold a harmful idea. The culture—and eventually the government—got wise.

I’m grateful they did.

I grew up around years of secondhand smoke. I never liked the smell or understood the appeal. (And I’m not railing on smokers—I’ve had my own battles with nicotine thanks to some poor choices in my baseball days.)

Today, most of the Western world follows basic courtesies around smoking. We don’t smoke at work, at our kids’ recitals, in movie theaters, or at the barber shop. If we must smoke, we step away.

And that’s what got me thinking.

I’m not here to shame nicotine addiction. I’m using it as a picture for a more damaging addiction—what happens when we carry bitterness, resentment, jealousy, or envy into our day.

The real damage starts on the inside. These smoldering thoughts harm us first. Then the secondhand smoke affects everyone around us. People may not be able to name it, but they feel it. They sense it. And quietly, they start looking for the exit.

Trying to quit smoking by “cutting back” is hard. Trying to quit inner smoldering by being less bitter or resentful? That doesn’t really work.

You either carry it—or you let it go.

And the good news is: we can let it go.

We can cast this stuff off, like a stinky old shirt. We can quit.

I’m writing as someone who wants to grow—and who wants to help others grow. We’re surrounded by people who can help if we’re willing to receive it. Growth has a sequence. It always begins by admitting there’s a problem. And make no mistake—these inner habits aren’t just problems. They’re killers.

When our desire for real change is paired with humility—an honest recognition of our need for help—help comes. Love and compassion are never far from the humble.

We are deeply loved by Perfect Love. We don’t have to smolder on the inside. We can live free. We can live whole.

Let’s build this kind of culture—in our homes, our work, and our communities—by helping one another grow. It starts with us. Over time, we model the change. And change will happen.

I’d love to hear what this stirs in you. There’s no shame here—only freedom for those willing to receive the gift.

Peace,
Craig

craig@r12coaching.com

Note:

If this is an area of struggle for you, I would love to connect. The internal smoldering can linger longer than we expect—but you don’t have to stay stuck. Reach out if talking things through would help.